Breaking the Silence: How Intergenerational Trauma Impacts Deaf Families and Their Hearing Children

When we think of trauma, we often consider the individuals directly impacted. Yet trauma, particularly within families, rarely stays contained to one person or generation. For Deaf individuals and their families, trauma is an intricate web of lived experiences, shared emotions, and inherited coping strategies that can deeply affect both Deaf and hearing children alike. Just because these children are hearing does not mean they escape the trauma ingrained in the family system.

Understanding Intergenerational Trauma in Deaf Families

Intergenerational trauma refers to the ways in which unresolved trauma and emotional burdens are transmitted across generations. Often, this occurs through patterns of behavior, emotional inheritance, and unspoken stress responses within family dynamics (Danieli, 1998). Deaf individuals, especially those from minority linguistic communities, face unique traumas linked to social exclusion, language deprivation, and discrimination. As a result, children in these families—whether Deaf or hearing—inherit legacies of trauma that shape their emotional worlds, identities, and even their health.

Trauma Does Not Discriminate by Hearing Status

It’s a common misconception that hearing children of Deaf adults, or Codas (Children of Deaf Adults), escape the legacy of trauma simply because they can hear. Codas often carry what is termed a “legacy burden” in therapy: an emotional or psychological weight inherited from family trauma that can influence everything from self-worth to relational patterns (Schwartz, 1995). This is not merely anecdotal; hearing children within Deaf families often experience what researchers describe as “courtesy stigma,” the social stigma attached to them simply because they are associated with Deaf individuals (Goffman, 1963).

Courtesy stigma can manifest as feelings of shame, frustration, and hypervigilance to potential discrimination—all of which hearing children may internalize. This shared stigma leaves them at risk of developing similar trauma responses, including anxiety and a heightened need for external validation, even if they don’t experience the same direct social isolation that Deaf individuals might (Preston, 1994).

Language Deprivation and Legacy of Silence

One unique factor impacting Deaf families is language deprivation, a trauma in itself. Deaf children, particularly those with hearing parents unfamiliar with Deaf culture, may lack early access to fluent language in the home (Hall, 2017). This deprivation can hinder cognitive and social-emotional development, contributing to feelings of isolation and inadequacy. When these Deaf children become parents, they may unknowingly pass on patterns of emotional avoidance or distrust to their hearing children.

Hearing children within these families also often function as linguistic and cultural brokers for their parents. This role reversal places additional emotional stress on Codas, making them mature quickly and leading to complex feelings about identity, responsibility, and belonging. These experiences, compounded by unhealed family trauma, create fertile ground for the inheritance of intergenerational burdens.

Trauma Transmission: A Matter of Biology and Social Learning

The concept of “what fires together, wires together” is key to understanding how trauma responses are passed on (Siegel, 2012). Children in trauma-affected families often model behaviors they see in their parents, such as hypervigilance, withdrawal, or emotional detachment. Codas and Deaf children alike observe and absorb how their parents respond to stress and discrimination. This learned behavior can manifest as a kind of secondary trauma, affecting their relationships, emotional resilience, and even their physical health.

Epigenetic studies show that trauma can influence gene expression, meaning that trauma responses can become biologically encoded and passed to the next generation (Yehuda & Bierer, 2009). This is significant for both Deaf and hearing children, suggesting that even without direct exposure to traumatic events, hearing children may still inherit altered stress responses from their parents.

Healing the Legacy of Trauma Recognizing and addressing intergenerational trauma within Deaf families requires a commitment to understanding these unique family dynamics. Therapeutic approaches, including Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), are valuable for processing legacy burdens and reclaiming personal identity (Schwartz, 1995; van der Kolk, 2014).

Community-based support, such as connecting Codas and Deaf individuals to a shared Deaf identity, can also mitigate trauma effects by providing affirmation and fostering resilience (Padden & Humphries, 2005). For hearing children, finding a balance between their Deaf family’s experiences and their own hearing identity can be challenging but transformative. Recognizing the inherited aspects of their struggles opens pathways to healing, allowing both Deaf and hearing family members to find shared resilience.

Moving Forward: A Call for Awareness and Advocacy

Just because children in Deaf families are hearing does not mean they are untouched by the trauma rooted in their family system. Codas, as well as Deaf children raised by hearing parents, inherit patterns, beliefs, and emotional responses that shape their lives. As we expand our understanding of trauma’s legacy, it becomes clear that addressing intergenerational trauma in Deaf families requires awareness, compassion, and dedicated resources. Trauma may not bypass a generation, but with a commitment to healing, each generation has the power to break the cycle.

References

• Danieli, Y. (1998). International Handbook of Multigenerational Legacies of Trauma. Springer.

• Goffman, E. (1963). Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity. Simon & Schuster.

• Hall, W. C., Smith, S. R., & Sutter, E. J. (2017). Language deprivation syndrome: A possible neurodevelopmental disorder with sociocultural origins. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 52(6), 761-774.

• Padden, C., & Humphries, T. (2005). Inside Deaf Culture. Harvard University Press.

• Preston, P. (1994). Mother Father Deaf: Living between Sound and Silence. Harvard University Press.

• Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal Family Systems Therapy. Guilford Press.

• Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.

• van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

• Yehuda, R., & Bierer, L. M. (2009). The relevance of epigenetics to PTSD: Implications for the DSM-V. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 22(5), 427-434.