Cognitive Distortions and Trauma: When Your Brain Lies to Protect You

By Joy Plote, Coda Counselor | The Space Between

You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired for Survival

If you’ve lived through trauma, you’ve probably found yourself wondering, “Why do I always think the worst?”, “Why can’t I believe good things about myself?”, or “Why do I blame myself for everything?”

The answer often lies in something called cognitive distortions—automatic, distorted ways of thinking that helped you survive overwhelming, chaotic, or unsafe situations. But now, long after the danger has passed, these same thought patterns might be keeping you anxious, disconnected, and stuck.

In this post, we’re going to go beyond just listing “negative thinking patterns.” We’ll explore where they come from, how they protect us, and how we can begin to rewire them with compassion and curiosity.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are habitual errors in thinking—mental shortcuts that skew reality. They’re not signs of weakness or irrationality. They’re part of being human.

But here’s the kicker: for people with trauma histories, cognitive distortions often serve a protective function. They are survival adaptations. If you were emotionally neglected, abused, gaslit, or chronically invalidated, your brain may have developed these patterns to keep you safe, alert, or emotionally distant. Unfortunately, they don’t disappear on their own—and they often lead to anxiety, depression, isolation, and shame.

Trauma Changes Thinking: Why Distortions Take Hold

Trauma doesn’t just affect the body—it rewires the brain.

• Hypervigilance trains your mind to scan constantly for danger.

• Learned helplessness makes you believe that no matter what you do, things won’t change.

• Survival guilt convinces you that healing or success is a betrayal.

• Neglect plants seeds of unworthiness that distort your entire sense of self.

The result? A brain that adapts perfectly to survive trauma—but now misinterprets daily life through that same filter.

A Closer Look: The Distortions That Shape Trauma Recovery

Let’s walk through the most common cognitive distortions and how they might sound in the mind of a trauma survivor.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

“I’m either healed or broken.” “I’m either lovable or a total mess.”

This black-and-white thinking stems from environments that didn’t allow for mistakes or emotional complexity.

Reframe:“I’m allowed to be a work-in-progress.”

2. Overgeneralization

“Every relationship ends in betrayal.” “Nothing ever works out for me.”

One trauma = the expectation that all future situations will echo that trauma.

Reframe:“This situation is hard, but it’s not every situation.”

3. Mental Filter

“I can’t stop thinking about the one thing I did wrong.”

Your brain latches onto threats. This filter is a survival strategy—but it keeps joy out, too.

Practice: Start with one moment of safety or connection per day. Build from there.

4. Discounting the Positive

“They said something kind, but they didn’t mean it.” “That win doesn’t count—it was too easy.”

If praise or success was rare, inconsistent, or manipulative in childhood, this distortion can run deep.

Reframe:“What if I just let this good thing be true?”

5. Jumping to Conclusions

“She didn’t text back—she must hate me.” “This feeling must mean danger.”

As a child, guessing what others were feeling may have been necessary for survival. Now it creates unnecessary fear.

Try:“What are 3 other possibilities?”

6. Catastrophizing

“If I mess this up, everything will fall apart.” “This pain means something is really wrong.”

This is the nervous system trying to get ahead of harm. But it traps you in panic.

Practice: Ground yourself with five things you can see, hear, or touch.

7. Emotional Reasoning

“I feel like a failure, so I must be one.” “I feel guilt, so I must have done something wrong.”

Feelings are real—but not always accurate reflections of truth.

Reframe:“My feelings are valid, but they aren’t facts.”

8. “Should” Statements

“I should be over this by now.” “They should know what I need.”

“Shoulds” are inherited rules, often from caregivers or abusers.

Try: Change “should” to “could” or “I’d like to.”

9. Labeling

“I’m broken.” “They’re toxic.”

These labels shrink identity to one trait—often shame-based or trauma-infused.

Try:“This is something I’m working through—not all of who I am.”

10. Personalization

“They’re upset—it must be because of me.” “If I’d been better, they wouldn’t have hurt me.”

Children in trauma often blame themselves to make sense of chaos. But not everything is yours to carry.

Reframe:“Other people’s feelings are not my responsibility.”

How Do You Start Changing These Patterns?

1. Awareness Before Action

The goal isn’t to stop distorted thoughts—it’s to notice them. Journaling, daily check-ins, or a “thought log” can help.

2. Curiosity Over Criticism

Don’t beat yourself up for distorted thinking. Ask: “What is this thought trying to protect me from?”

3. Somatic Grounding

Distorted thoughts often ride a wave of nervous system activation. Breathwork, sensory grounding, or movement helps bring the body back to safety.

4. Reframing Practice

Ask:

• “What’s the evidence for this thought?”

• “What would I say to a friend who felt this way?”

• “What might a more balanced thought sound like?”

5. Therapy and Parts Work

Cognitive distortions are often held by specific “parts” of us—especially wounded inner children. Approaches like IFS (Internal Family Systems), EMDR, and trauma-informed CBT can be deeply healing.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Your Thoughts

Cognitive distortions are not mental flaws. They are deeply intelligent survival mechanisms—strategies your brain developed when you were doing the best you could in impossible circumstances.

Now, your job isn’t to judge those thoughts.

Your job is to gently notice them. To understand their purpose. To thank them for trying to help.

And then, when you’re ready, to show them there’s a new way forward.

Want to Go Deeper?

• Download a Cognitive Distortion Journal Template

• Try our Self-Reparenting Toolkit

• Schedule a session with a trauma-informed therapist near you

You are not broken—you are becoming.