A Seat at the Table: Why Codas Must Speak Out on Deaf Education and Intergenerational Trauma

By Joy Plote, Coda Counselor | The Space Between

Intergenerational trauma does not exist in isolation—it is deeply rooted in the choices, struggles, and dynamics passed down through families. For Codas (Children of Deaf Adults), the legacy of educational and linguistic decisions made by our hearing grandparents has profoundly shaped our lives. Yet, our experiences are often dismissed or undervalued in conversations about Deaf education and family dynamics. It is time for us to claim our seat at the table.

The Invisible Impact of Linguistic and Educational Choices

Hearing grandparents, often with the best intentions, frequently made decisions that prioritized speech and lipreading while minimizing the use of sign language. These choices, influenced by societal pressures and ableist narratives, contributed to language deprivation in Deaf adults. We know this. We have lived this reality. Decisions made decades ago ripple into our lives in profound ways, particularly when we, as Codas, are left to bridge the gap between our Deaf parents and the hearing world.

Many of us love and cherish our grandparents, and we recognize that they did what they believed was best at the time. And – the impact of their choices remains undeniable. By prioritizing spoken language over sign, they often left their Deaf children—our parents—without full access to a robust linguistic and cultural identity. The consequences of this deprivation extended beyond their own struggles, affecting their ability to parent effectively and often shifting the burden of communication and family management onto us, their hearing children.

Parentification of Codas: A Silent Epidemic

Parentification—the phenomenon in which children take on caregiving or adult responsibilities—is alarmingly common in Coda households. This dynamic often begins with serving as interpreters for our parents, helping them navigate systems that remain overwhelmingly inaccessible. While some Codas view this role as an extension of their identity, the emotional toll is undeniable.

When language deprivation limits a Deaf adult’s ability to parent effectively, Codas often fill in the gaps. In many cases, this leads to enabling behaviors that inadvertently perpetuate cycles of neglect or even abuse. These are difficult truths, but if we remain silent, we allow these harmful patterns to continue.

Codas and the Right to Speak Up

Discussions about Deaf education and family advocacy typically center on Deaf voices and those of hearing professionals. While Deaf voices must remain central, Codas also have a critical perspective to share. We are the ones who live on the other side of these decisions, experiencing firsthand the emotional and psychological fallout.

Research has documented higher rates of abuse and neglect within the Deaf community (Glickman, 2013; Sullivan & Knutson, 2000), yet little is known about how Codas are directly impacted. Our unique position—existing both within and outside the Deaf community—gives us not only the insight but also the responsibility to advocate for change.

Silence perpetuates harm. When Codas do not speak out about these realities, we inadvertently allow the cycles of trauma, parentification, and language deprivation to continue unchecked. We must use our voices to connect these patterns to the need for systemic change.

A Seat at the Table

Codas have earned a seat at the table in discussions about Deaf education and family advocacy. Our lived experiences are not just personal stories; they are valuable data that inform the broader impacts of linguistic and educational decisions. We must advocate for practices that prevent language deprivation, support Deaf parents in their roles, and ensure that Codas do not bear the weight of adult responsibilities.

By speaking up, we honor our unique position in the Deaf community and contribute to breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma. Together, we can challenge the narratives that have historically excluded us and push for a future where Deaf parents, Codas, and families all thrive.

This is not our fault—but all too often, it becomes our problem. If we want change, we must be the ones to demand it.

By anchoring our perspectives in research and lived experience, we ensure that our voices are both credible and impactful. It’s time for Codas to take their rightful place in shaping the future of Deaf education and family dynamics. Let’s solve this together.

The Coda Legacy Project